Assignment #1: Bad Taste TV Movie Theatre

You just know they're going to make a made-for-TV movie of the recent Asian tsunami. Your assignment here is to come up with horrible, awful, terrible product placements, castings, and storylines. How will they trivialize this disaster? Who will spend three weeks in Thailand stomping through the water filming this travesty and then declare that the hardships of making the film were just as bad as the real event?

Will the plucky tsunamologist drive a Hummer, an Excursion, or a Kia Sedona? These are important decisions people, and it's our duty to make fun of these soul-sucking carpetbaggers.

Go.

Les and Julie, Sitting in a Tree...

So... What do you get for the couple that has almost everything?

Les Moonves (the CBS Honcho who tries very hard to have a sense of humor in public) married Julie Chen on Thursday (see previous parenthetical comment). Between his expense account, and her lack of a soul talent appetite, I don't think kitchen goods are quite the thing.

I'm sure someone's over at CBS chiseling off Dan Rather's nameplate as we speak.

Welcome to The Patio!

Well, here it is, the new home of The Patio. As with the previous Patios, this is a general, all-purpose discussion place to get your funny going.

Or it may be a bloody pile of abandoned crap, a dead dog on the highway. We'll see what happens.